US and China Agree to Let an AI Decide Who's Racing Too Fast on AI
The new arbitration model was praised by both sides for finally settling the argument, once the machine finishes settling it.
Diplomats from both countries announced the creation of a joint oversight system after months of accusing each other of 'malicious competition,' a phrase that had begun to appear in more press releases than actual AI models. The system, referred to internally as the Pace Determination Unit, has one job: to continuously assess whether either nation is developing artificial intelligence too quickly, and to issue that verdict without ever concluding the assessment.
Officials on both sides called it a breakthrough. The Unit was reportedly trained on years of statements about slowing down, speeding up, and slowing down again, giving it what one unnamed advisor described as 'a very rich internal life of contradictions.'
So far the Unit has produced no rulings, only a running log of procedural notes on how it plans to eventually produce one. A second, smaller AI has since been proposed to monitor the first AI's progress toward making progress, prompting a working group to consider whether a third might be needed to monitor that.
Asked whether the arrangement resolves the underlying dispute, a spokesperson for neither government in particular said, 'We came together as one process, divided,' before excusing themselves to attend a meeting about scheduling the next meeting.
Analysts note that the arrangement has at least achieved consensus on one point: both countries agree the Unit should keep working exactly as long as it takes, which by design is indefinitely.