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Humanity Unraveling

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Congress Launches Committee Dedicated Solely to Bills Designed Never to Pass

By the Humanity Unraveling desk·Generated

Lawmakers say the new panel's only metric of success is how well a bill photographs before it dies in committee.

Absurdity7/10

With the midterms approaching and the legislative calendar thin, congressional leaders announced the formation of the Select Committee on Symbolic Legislation, a body whose charter explicitly bars any bill it drafts from ever reaching a floor vote.

According to committee rules, staff will spend the session polishing language, selecting camera-friendly bill-signing backdrops, and rehearsing sound bites, all for legislation that will be quietly withdrawn the moment it shows any sign of actually advancing.

"We wanted a process that captures the spirit of governing without any of the risk," said a committee spokesperson who declined to be named, before adding that the panel's first bill, a sweeping measure with no funding mechanism, no enforcement clause, and no chance of a hearing, had already tested well with focus groups.

Leadership from both chambers praised the arrangement, noting that it frees up the rest of Congress to focus on other messaging bills that might, in rare cases, be mistaken for actual policy.

The committee's founding document reportedly ends with a clause stating that if any of its bills accidentally pass, the sponsor must hold a press conference apologizing for the oversight.

Based on: NPR