Brussels Unveils Official Program Scheduling VIP Train Visits as Strike Decoys
A new task force says European officials will keep touring Ukrainian stations, timed precisely so the missiles only arrive once everyone has safely left.
A newly announced coordination office says it will begin formally scheduling official visits to Ukrainian train platforms, with departure times calculated to the minute so that any resulting strike lands only after the delegation's motorcade has cleared the parking lot.
The office describes the arrangement as a natural next step, given how reliably strikes have followed close behind recent visits. Officials will now receive a laminated itinerary listing arrival time, photo-op duration, and a mandatory buffer window before departure, after which the platform is considered, in the office's words, "operationally available."
"We've turned an unfortunate coincidence into a repeatable process," said a spokesperson for the task force, who then excused himself to review next week's platform rotation. "The goal is zero overlap between dignitaries and debris."
Planners say the program may expand beyond train stations to bridges, grain silos, and any other site a European official might wish to be photographed near shortly before it is no longer there. A pilot phase is already underway, though attendees are asked to depart promptly and not linger for follow-up questions.