Uganda's New King to Deliver All Decrees as Breaking News, Complete With Sponsor Breaks
Palace officials say the transition from anchor desk to throne will preserve at least one commercial break per royal address.
Following the burial of King Oyo at the Karambi Royal Tombs, his successor — former television anchor Edward Rukidi Kijanangoma — has announced that every future royal proclamation will now air in a standard nightly-news format, complete with a lower-third ticker summarizing kingdom affairs.
According to a statement from the newly formed Royal Broadcast Standards Office, each decree will open with a cold open, cut to a commercial break at the most dramatic possible moment, and close with a short weather segment covering the kingdom's coffee harvest.
"We wanted the transition to feel seamless," said a producer attached to the palace, who insisted on remaining unnamed. "Viewers who are used to seeing him read the news will now simply see him read the news, except with a crown on."
Courtiers are reportedly being retrained as segment producers, and the royal court has begun approaching sponsors willing to underwrite official proclamations in thirty-second increments.
Officials insist the coffee-berry ceremony that marked the handover will remain unchanged, though palace sources say a ratings sweep is already being planned to measure the reach of the king's first full month of decrees.