Tour Promoters Incorporate 'The Decision LLC' So No One Ever Has to Make One Again
After Ed Sheeran said dropping Macklemore wasn't his call, organizers unveiled a standalone company whose only job is to be the one who decided.
Following days of questions about who exactly chose to remove Macklemore from the tour, organizers confirmed they have filed paperwork to create a new legal entity named, in full, 'The Decision.' Its bylaws state a single purpose: to make the choice, whatever it is, so that everyone else involved can truthfully say it wasn't them.
The Decision has no offices, no staff, and no phone number. It exists, according to its incorporation filing, 'solely to be blamed, in perpetuity, by whoever needs blaming done.' Promoters say this arrangement will streamline future controversies by giving reporters a consistent, quotable, entirely fictional party to contact.
'We came together and decided The Decision should decide,' said a spokesperson for the new company, before clarifying that the spokesperson also does not work for anyone and could not be reached for further comment. 'It felt cleaner than any of us actually deciding.'
Artists on the tour have reportedly welcomed the change, noting that it allows them to disagree with a decision, distance themselves from a decision, and support a decision, all in the same afternoon, without ever having been the one who made it.
The Decision's first official act, filed alongside its incorporation papers, was to schedule a future meeting at which it will decide whether to keep deciding things this way.