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Humanity Unraveling

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Grand Jury Subpoenas Holiday Card Lists in Widening Conspiracy Probe

By the Humanity Unraveling desk·Generated

Investigators say a signed "Warmly, John" may be the missing link in the alleged plot against the former president.

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The Florida grand jury investigating whether former intelligence officials conspired against President Trump has reportedly broadened its subpoena power to include the personal holiday card lists of anyone who ever held a security clearance.

According to court filings, prosecutors believe a pattern of "Warmly, John" and "Season's Greetings from the Agency" signatures may reveal a decades-long communications network operating under the guise of seasonal cheer.

"We came together as one bureau, divided," said a spokesperson for the investigation, before excusing himself to cross-reference a stack of return-address labels against known movements of retired case officers.

Subpoenaed card recipients are reportedly being asked to explain any recurring use of the phrase "thinking of you," which investigators say could plausibly encode operational intent. Several recipients have already produced the cards, along with the small, glittery snowmen that came with them, for forensic review.

The grand jury is expected to reconvene next month to determine whether a fruitcake mailed in 2019 constitutes a material witness.

Based on: NPR