Canada Breaks Ground on Shadow EU Parliament, Just to Have Somewhere to Not Vote
Officials say the replica chamber will let the country practice sitting quietly through debates it has no say in.
Construction crews in Ottawa began work this week on a full-scale replica of the European Parliament's Brussels chamber, complete with headsets offering simultaneous interpretation into all twenty-four official EU languages, despite the fact that no session held there will ever require a Canadian vote.
Seating has already been assigned alphabetically by member state, with a small unmarked bench near the back reserved for Canada's own delegation, positioned so they can hear everything and influence nothing.
"We wanted the associate membership experience to feel completely authentic," said an organizer overseeing the build, "right down to the part where nothing we say changes the outcome."
The rehearsal chamber will reportedly hold mock sessions twice a month, with Canadian delegates practicing procedural motions, translated small talk, and the specific posture of listening attentively to policies that will apply to everyone but them.
Organizers say a second, smaller room is being built next door in case the associate membership is ever upgraded, though no one has yet decided what would go in it.