White House Unveils New Press Pass Requiring Presidential Report Card
Reporters must now earn a passing grade from the Oval Office before they can ask a single question.
The White House confirmed this week that all media credentials will be issued only after the president personally reviews each outlet's coverage and assigns a grade on a scale ranging from Fine to Very Unfair.
Outlets already barred entirely, including CNN and Politico, are reportedly ineligible to even sit for the review, having failed it, in the words of one unnamed aide, "before it was administered, and possibly before it was founded."
Under the new system, reporters must submit their prior week's headlines for inspection, with the president using a red marker to circle any word he finds "mean" and drawing stars beside coverage he finds "tremendous."
Three stars in a row earns a front-row seat at briefings, while a frown requires the outlet to reapply the following week along with a short letter of apology addressed to no one in particular.
Officials say the new process is meant to bring order and fairness to the briefing room, though they could not say who, if anyone, will be grading the president's grading.