Berkshire Hathaway Board Votes to Become a Kingdom, Effective Immediately
Howard Buffett will not merely chair the company but reign over it, per a newly ratified royal charter tucked into the proxy statement.
Berkshire Hathaway's board of directors this week quietly amended the company's founding documents to establish a formal royal line of succession, ensuring that control of the conglomerate will pass through Warren Buffett's bloodline in perpetuity rather than through anything so pedestrian as a vote.
The annual shareholder meeting, long known for folksy Q&A sessions and Dairy Queen concessions, will now open with a coronation. Attendees have been asked to bring their own crowns, as the company's disclosed corporate austerity does not extend to headwear.
"We came together as one shareholder base, kneeling," said a spokesperson for the newly formed Office of the Royal Court, before excusing themselves to iron a ceremonial sash for the vice-chairman of the exchequer.
Under the new charter, Howard Buffett's title will formally read "Chairman, by the Grace of Compound Interest, Sovereign of Omaha and Protector of the Float." Succession beyond him passes automatically to his heirs, with the board reserving the right to declare a regency should any future Buffett be, in the charter's words, "still in diapers or otherwise indisposed."
Analysts note that the move resolves years of speculation about succession planning by removing the planning part entirely. A subcommittee has already been convened to determine whether the royal family may also inherit the company's seat on the board of a major railroad, or whether that requires a separate treaty.