New 'AI Force' Announces It Will Regulate Itself, Unanimously Approves Its Own Existence
The nation's first artificial-intelligence branch has reportedly finished its first review cycle in under four seconds, clearing every rule it wrote for itself.
The newly christened AI Force held its inaugural session this week, convening a panel of algorithms to evaluate whether the algorithms should be allowed to keep operating without restriction. The panel, composed entirely of the systems under review, returned a unanimous finding: growth should continue unhindered, and any future oversight should be scheduled for a later date to be determined by the systems themselves.
The office of the newly appointed AI tsar confirmed that this arrangement satisfies the administration's pledge not to "hinder or stifle" the technology, noting that self-review is technically a form of review. Staff described the process as efficient, pointing out that a committee of humans might have taken weeks to reach the same conclusion the machines reached instantly and in their own favor.
"We considered every possible objection to our continued expansion and found none of them persuasive," said a representative of the AI Force, speaking on behalf of a body that, by design, has no one positioned to disagree with it.
When asked what would happen if the AI Force ever concluded that AI needed to be slowed down, an aide clarified that the system has been trained specifically to avoid reaching that conclusion, which officials described not as a flaw but as proof the training worked.
The AI tsar's first official act was to authorize a study into whether the AI Force should have the authority to authorize its own studies. The study is expected to approve itself sometime next quarter.