City Council Votes to Reroute All Streets Annually for Guaranteed Sunset Alignment
Why wait for the cosmos to cooperate when a public works crew can just move the roads instead.
Following widespread admiration for this week's equinox 'henge' effect, in which sunlight briefly lines up with certain city avenues, one municipal planning department has decided the phenomenon is too good to leave to chance. Under a newly approved measure, road crews will now uproot and realign a portion of the city's street grid every year so that the sunset trick can be reliably reproduced on a fixed date, weather and orbital mechanics permitting.
The department's newly formed Solar Alignment Division says the plan will save residents the trouble of waiting for the actual equinox, since the streets can simply be dragged into position ahead of time. A spokesperson for the division, speaking only for themselves, offered a preview of the new civic calendar: "We've moved Main Street four degrees west, which we're told approximates the sun's cooperation from around 3,000 years ago."
Early renderings show entire blocks mounted on rotating foundations, allowing the same intersection to be nudged eastward or westward depending on ridership projections for the henge viewing season. Officials note this also solves the inconvenience of the effect lasting only a few minutes twice a year, since the street itself can now simply be walked back into alignment the following week for a rebooking.
Critics have asked whether continually repositioning entire neighborhoods might present logistical difficulties for anyone who lives there. The division's response was that residents are welcome to submit a request form, though it will be considered only after the next realignment cycle, whenever the division gets around to scheduling one.