UN Adds Sign-Up Sheet So Delegates Know Whether They're Threatening, Dealing, or Just Being Passionate Today
A new agenda system asks each country to pick one lane and stick to it.
The General Assembly this week rolled out a color-coded sign-up sheet dividing floor time into three clearly labeled blocks: Threats, Deals, and Passionate Speeches, posted on a clipboard outside the main hall.
Delegations that mix categories mid-remarks are now redirected to a folding table near the coat check, where an usher hands them a laminated card listing which tone they are currently permitted to use.
"We came together as one house, divided," said a spokesperson for no country in particular, before excusing themselves to check whether their nation's slot had been moved to the Deals block.
Organizers say the sheet has already cut down on confusion, since delegates previously threatened during their allotted Passionate Speech minutes and then grew passionate while trying to close unrelated deals in the hallway.
A revision under discussion would add a fourth block, Deals That Are Secretly Threats, though early feedback suggests most delegations are already using that slot informally.