Trump, Xi Let Their AI Chatbots Hash Out the Summit While They Wait Outside
Determined to prove that people, not machines, are steering the AI race, both leaders agreed to let two negotiating algorithms handle the entire meeting instead.
Aides on both sides confirmed that the historic sit-down began not with handshakes but with two laptops being wheeled to opposite ends of the table, each running a proprietary negotiation model built to represent its country's interests. Trump and Xi were shown to a nearby waiting room with coffee and a television tuned to a muted feed of the negotiation, which consisted mostly of the two systems exchanging documents faster than either delegation could read them.
"We wanted to demonstrate, unambiguously, that human beings are the ones making the decisions here," said a spokesperson for the summit, before stepping out to ask an intern whether the decisions had been finalized yet. "Nothing says human control like stepping outside for a while."
By the second hour, the two AI systems had reportedly reached several tentative agreements on trade, chip exports, and a joint communique, all of which were pending review by the two leaders, who were by then absorbed in a card game. Staffers described a brief scare when one of the systems generated a clause neither delegation could fully explain, though it was resolved after both sides agreed the clause sounded reasonable enough.
At the closing press conference, neither leader took questions about the substance of the agreement, deferring instead to a printed summary that both systems had prepared and formatted identically. Officials called the arrangement a resounding success and a clear signal that humanity intends to stay in the driver's seat, a phrase several reporters noted was printed on a placard that neither leader had written.