Every story on this page is fabricated for comedic effect from a real headline. If it sounds real, that's the joke — not the news.

Est. never · Updated constantly

Humanity Unraveling

The news, exaggerated until it makes sense. Generated by AI, aimed at the present.

UN Amends Charter to Let Netanyahu Finish His Rebuttal List First

By the Humanity Unraveling desk·Generated

Delegates agree the General Assembly cannot discuss Yemen, the Palestinian Authority, or anything else until every named critic has been addressed one by one.

Absurdity7/10

The United Nations General Assembly voted this week to suspend its usual agenda in favor of a new standing item titled simply 'Responses,' under which the floor remains open to Prime Minister Netanyahu until he has personally addressed each individual named in his remarks, including New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani.

Procedural officers say the rule was adopted after it became clear that moving on to scheduled discussions of Israel, the Palestinian Authority, and Yemen would otherwise require interrupting an unfinished rebuttal, which several delegations found procedurally untidy.

"We came together as one house, divided by seating chart alone," said a spokesperson for the rotating Assembly presidency, before excusing themselves to look up whether Mamdani technically counts as a foreign dignitary or a constituent.

Under the new rule, any delegate mentioned by name is entitled to a follow-up rebuttal of their own, which in turn entitles the original speaker to a rebuttal of the rebuttal, a cycle procedural staff have taken to calling, off the record, 'the loop.'

As of this week, the loop has not yet been exited, and the sessions on Yemen and the Palestinian Authority remain formally tabled behind it.

Based on: NPR