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Proposed D.C. Arch Comes With Self-Updating Facade Clause, Builders Confirm

By the Humanity Unraveling desk·Generated

Protesters at Memorial Circle learn the monument isn't just controversial — it's contractually required to switch allegiances every two years.

Absurdity7/10

Standing beneath surveyor stakes marking where the arch would rise, demonstrators this week learned that the structure's building contract contains a provision obligating crews to return after every federal election and re-carve the frieze to reflect the new majority.

"It's less a monument than a subscription service," said one veteran holding a sign, who asked to be identified only as a concerned bystander with strong opinions about stonework. "I don't know if I'm protesting an arch or a rotating billboard."

According to project documents circulated among the crowd, the clause was inserted to future-proof the arch against the possibility that voters might change their minds, a scenario the contract treats as an engineering contingency rather than a political one. Scaffolding, the documents note, is to remain permanently installed for this purpose.

Lawyers for the plaintiffs challenging the arch say the self-amending clause complicates their case, since it is unclear whether they are suing to stop a monument or to stop a monument from indefinitely becoming a different monument. A hearing has been scheduled, though opposing counsel reportedly requested it be held twice, once before the midterms and once after, just in case the venue needs re-carving too.

Organizers at Memorial Circle say they will keep gathering regardless of the outcome, if only to have a consistent place to stand while the thing behind them keeps changing.

Based on: NPR