South Australia Establishes Ministry of Perpetual Incognito Dining to Keep Michelin Stars Forever
Officials say the new agency's only mandate is making sure the inspectors never actually leave.
The South Australian government has reportedly formalized its successful Michelin campaign into a standing bureaucracy, the Department of Ongoing Culinary Surveillance, tasked with flying in a rotating cast of incognito inspectors on an indefinite, renewable basis to ensure the state's eleven starred restaurants are never caught having an off night.
According to an internal briefing, the department's org chart consists of a director, a fleet of unmarked sedans, and a line item labeled simply "tasting continuity." Inspectors are reportedly rotated every few weeks so that no restaurant can ever be sure whether the quiet couple requesting the tasting menu is on holiday or on the clock.
"We came together as one house, divided over the wine pairing," said a department spokesperson, before excusing themselves to review a sommelier's body language for signs of complacency.
Other states are said to be considering similar offices, though budget officials in at least one rival state have reportedly asked whether it would be cheaper to just annex South Australia's restaurants outright.
The department insists its work is nearly finished, noting that once every restaurant in the state has been visited enough times to never relax again, the inspectors can finally stop pretending to be customers and just move in.