Factory Launches Employee-of-the-Month Award for Best Robot Replacement Training
Workers who most effectively teach their robotic successors will now be the first to lose their jobs, under a new recognition program.
The factory's newly formed Automation Transition Department has rolled out a quarterly review process grading workers not on output, but on how clearly their GoPro footage communicates proper technique to the robotic systems being trained to replace them.
Top performers receive a laminated certificate, a slightly longer tenure than the standard two weeks' notice, and what management is calling the Golden Hard Hat, an award workers accept during a brief ceremony before clearing out their lockers.
"We wanted a way to recognize excellence in mentorship," said a department spokesperson, adjusting a clipboard that appeared to contain nothing but a single checkbox marked 'Trained Successor.' "It's important that the last thing an employee does here is their best work."
Several workers have reportedly begun deliberately fumbling simple tasks on camera, hoping to teach their robotic replacements inefficient habits that might buy them another few months of employment. The department has responded by adding a second award category for 'Consistency Under Observation.'
Asked whether the program might eventually train a robot to evaluate the human trainers, the spokesperson paused, glanced at the clipboard, and said only that the checkbox had room for one more line.