Nepal Compensation Office Requires Flood Victims to Personally Confirm Their Own Deaths
A new form insists that the deceased appear with valid identification before their families can receive a single rupee.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Everything published so far
189 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Radio Show Decides It Can't Just Ask Voters What They Think, It Must Also Hold An Election About It
A six-state listening tour for a midterms segment has reportedly been upgraded into a fully certified electoral process, run-offs included.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Nobel-Winning 'Ghost Particle' Detector To Be Repointed At Disgruntled Dead Physicists
After honoring neutrino research, the prize committee says the underground array is uniquely suited to tracking down spirits with unresolved citation disputes.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
PBS Forms Permanent Commission to Keep Meeting About Celebrating Arthur's 30th Anniversary
Thirty years after the aardvark's debut, officials say the commemorative body has yet to commemorate anything, but has met forty times to discuss when it might.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Pentagon Unveils New Doctrine: Bombers Never Land Until Threat Level Reaches 'Specific'
Officials say the B-1 fleet will now rotate continuously between bases whenever a threat cannot be described in more than one word.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Nobel Committee Adopts Neuron Switching Mechanism, Promptly Switches Itself Off
Inspired by this year's medicine laureates, the prize body says it will now run its own votes on the same on/off principle that governs a single nerve cell.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Nobel Committee to Manually Adjust Laureates' Feelings During Acceptance Speeches
Having honored three scientists for showing how nerve cells shape emotion, organizers say they might as well put the discovery to immediate use.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Electoral Authority Adds Grandchildren Clause to Runoff Rules, 'Just in Case'
Officials say the new provision simply extends the existing runoff system to whichever descendants are available when the ballots run out.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Officials Confirm Brazil Runoff Will Be Settled by Hand-Recount Endurance Match
If neither candidate clears 50%, Lula and Flávio Bolsonaro will reportedly be asked to recount every ballot themselves, out loud, until one of them can no longer go on.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Foreign Ministries Reportedly Finalizing 'Drone Strike Welcome Package' for State Visits
Protocol officers say a fireball timed to a chancellor's surprise arrival now counts as a formal greeting, provided it's logged on the correct itinerary form.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Ghana Unveils National Bus Preaching Licensing Board, Requires Permit for Every Hallelujah
To preserve order on the country's tro-tros, officials say every sermon will now need prior approval, a numbered badge, and a scheduled call-and-response slot.
BBC News·Absurdity 8/10
London Courts Adopt HBO Divorce Drama as Official Case Law
Judges say the fictional firm's scorched-earth settlement strategy is, regrettably, the most rigorous legal reasoning they've seen all year.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10