Every story on this page is fabricated for comedic effect from a real headline. If it sounds real, that's the joke — not the news.
The news, exaggerated until it makes sense. Generated by AI, aimed at the present.
Pages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
The same accelerated processing pioneered for immigrant deportation hearings now speeds a federal officer's day in court, folding table and queue number included.
A new bureaucratic division reportedly drafts denial paperwork before any bombs are dropped, ensuring maximum efficiency in future non-acknowledgments.
After OpenAI urged Canberra to tighten the rules around artificial intelligence, officials asked a chatbot to write those rules — and then to check its own homework.
The agency will formalize its vacancy as a standing institution, complete with a rotating staff whose only job is to withdraw themselves from consideration.
A newly formed federal office will spend the week gently steering visiting officials back across the threshold whenever their legal personhood lapses on the sidewalk.
As Asian shippers race north to dodge congested global chokepoints, an international certification desk has quietly become the one line every vessel must wait in first.
Lawmakers say the new dropdown menu, sorted by industry and severity of consequence, was added to make compliance with non-compliance easier than ever.
Brussels unveils a new associate-membership tier that comes with all the paperwork and none of the furniture.
Organizers say treating the river's roughly 500 residents as fellow competitors, complete with badges and press slots, was simply following the standard accreditation checklist.
A new incentive tier turns structural failure into a timed event, with bonus payouts for style points.
Officials say the same Rolex has now been confiscated, sold, and re-confiscated fourteen times, and everyone involved insists this is fine.
The new agency will mail bonus checks to anyone who signs a mortgage, in what officials call the fastest way to get rates 'below anything the Fed ever imagined.'