White House Unveils New Press Pass: Must Defeat Press Office In Court First
Officials say the credentialing process is simpler than it sounds, provided reporters can out-litigate the very office deciding whether they get in.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Everything published so far
189 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Nation's Grandparents Unionize, Threaten Strike Over Childcare Benefits
Facing skyrocketing daycare costs, families turned to grandma and grandpa — who have now countered with a collective bargaining agreement.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Chancellery Installs Steam Valve to Vent Rising 'Political Pressure' on Merz
Engineers say the gauge was meant as a metaphor until someone actually built it.
BBC News·Absurdity 5/10
White House Unveils New Cabinet Post: Guardrail-in-Chief, a Job Only Trump Can Hold
The position's entire job description is signing off on AI contracts for people he already knows personally.
The Guardian·Absurdity 6/10
Fox Establishes Board to Review the Review of the Documents It Was Ordered to Hand Over
The company says compliance is proceeding smoothly, once the committee finishes reviewing whether the committee reviewed things correctly.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Moscow Launches Nightly Drone-Interception Leaderboard, Crowns First 'Sky Defender of the Week'
After officials touted a record number of downed drones, the city has begun ranking its air-defense units like a sports league.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
White House Launches Pre-Approval Desk So Reporters Can Get Their Stories Certified True Before Writing Them
The new Office of Verified Journalism promises faster access for outlets willing to let the subject of a story sign off on it first.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Riyadh Airport Apologizes for 'Slight Delay' Following Reported Missile Strike
Passengers are offered complimentary beverage vouchers as the terminal's PA system reads the incident off the same script used for a stuck jet bridge.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Government Unveils 'Historic' Immigration Cut Achieved Entirely Through Paperwork
A newly formed Bureau of Departure Semantics says it can hit the target without turning back a single plane, simply by changing what the word 'arrival' means.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
U.N. Creates New Unit to Monitor the Monitors Monitoring the Ceasefire
A fresh subcommittee has been established to verify that the people verifying the verification are filing the correct forms.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
New 'AI Force' Announces It Will Regulate Itself, Unanimously Approves Its Own Existence
The nation's first artificial-intelligence branch has reportedly finished its first review cycle in under four seconds, clearing every rule it wrote for itself.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Fed Unveils New Division Solely Dedicated to Explaining Rate Hikes by Hiking Rates
Officials say the clearest way to answer 'how do interest rates work?' is with a slightly higher one.
NPR·Absurdity 9/10