Kennedy Center to Solve Naming Dispute by Ceasing to Exist
In a bold stroke of anti-branding, the historic arts center will now operate as a permanent, name-free void.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Culture archive — page 1
25 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Tour Promoters Incorporate 'The Decision LLC' So No One Ever Has to Make One Again
After Ed Sheeran said dropping Macklemore wasn't his call, organizers unveiled a standalone company whose only job is to be the one who decided.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Kennedy Center Vows To Save The Arts By Replacing Them With Team-Building Retreats
Facing bankruptcy, the storied venue says its survival plan involves renting every stage, lobby, and green room to corporate offsites, with performances allowed only between catering breaks.
NPR·Absurdity 9/10
Emmys Add Live Trophy-Smashing Segment to Officially Break Its Own Records
Producers say the ceremony's decades-old ambition to 'break records' finally has a category, a stopwatch, and a very large broom.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Emmys Announce New Rule: Nominees Must Now Compete Only Against Themselves
Inspired by one actor's historic double win, the Television Academy has decided the fairest race is the one with a single runner.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Emmys Solve Double-Win Problem by Declaring Matthew Rhys Two People
Officials say the historic feat can only be properly honored if the actor is administratively split into a matching pair of trophy recipients.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Health Agency Forms Permanent Commission to Have Celebrities Explain Things to Congress
The new panel has no budget, no research staff, and one recurring agenda item: scheduling.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Hyrox Makes It Official: No Bodily Mishap, No Finisher's Medal
The fitness race chain says true grit can no longer be left to chance, and neither can the cleanup.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Physics Committee Calls Emergency Session to Vote on Whether Reality Is Real
Following a new book questioning if the universe can be fully known, a hastily formed panel has moved to settle the matter by motion and second.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
New Talent Agency Bans Employees From Knowing Anything About the Shows They're Scouting
Inspired by a hit producer's advice not to look for a hit, the agency now sends staff into theatres wearing sound-dampening headphones and mild confusion.
NPR·Absurdity 5/10
Half-Marathon Reclassified as 'Aquathon' Mid-Race, Organizers Cite 'Course Flexibility'
With floodwaters rising faster than the leaderboard could be updated, officials decided the fairest solution was to change what the race was.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
NFL Announces Kaepernick Will Be Evaluated Forever, Never Signed
League unveils an eternal scouting process guaranteeing the quarterback remains 'under consideration' in perpetuity.
NPR·Absurdity 8/10