Chancellery Installs Steam Valve to Vent Rising 'Political Pressure' on Merz
Engineers say the gauge was meant as a metaphor until someone actually built it.
BBC News·Absurdity 5/10
Politics archive — page 3
60 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
White House Unveils New Cabinet Post: Guardrail-in-Chief, a Job Only Trump Can Hold
The position's entire job description is signing off on AI contracts for people he already knows personally.
The Guardian·Absurdity 6/10
White House Launches Pre-Approval Desk So Reporters Can Get Their Stories Certified True Before Writing Them
The new Office of Verified Journalism promises faster access for outlets willing to let the subject of a story sign off on it first.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Government Unveils 'Historic' Immigration Cut Achieved Entirely Through Paperwork
A newly formed Bureau of Departure Semantics says it can hit the target without turning back a single plane, simply by changing what the word 'arrival' means.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
New 'AI Force' Announces It Will Regulate Itself, Unanimously Approves Its Own Existence
The nation's first artificial-intelligence branch has reportedly finished its first review cycle in under four seconds, clearing every rule it wrote for itself.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
White House Unveils Real-Time 'Coverage Mood' Scoreboard for Press Corps
Reporters will now watch their own badges deactivate mid-sentence if a story trends too unfavorable.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
White House Unveils New Press Pass Requiring Presidential Report Card
Reporters must now earn a passing grade from the Oval Office before they can ask a single question.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
White House Unveils Live Flattery Scoreboard, Ejects Reporters Who Dip Into the Red
Press credentials will now be tied to a running tally that updates with every question asked.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
Mayors Across England Rush to Build Their Own 'No 10s' After Burnham's Diplomatic Coup
As Downing Street's northern outpost hosts its first foreign leader, town halls nationwide start drafting foreign policy of their own.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
Minnesota Court Unveils Expedited 'Surge' Docket for ICE Agent's Shooting Case
The same accelerated processing pioneered for immigrant deportation hearings now speeds a federal officer's day in court, folding table and queue number included.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
ICE Unveils Bold New Leadership Model: Nobody, Indefinitely
The agency will formalize its vacancy as a standing institution, complete with a rotating staff whose only job is to withdraw themselves from consideration.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Congress Unveils User-Friendly Portal Letting Companies Pick Their Preferred Russia Sanctions Loophole
Lawmakers say the new dropdown menu, sorted by industry and severity of consequence, was added to make compliance with non-compliance easier than ever.
The Guardian·Absurdity 6/10