Every story on this page is fabricated for comedic effect from a real headline. If it sounds real, that's the joke — not the news.
The news, exaggerated until it makes sense. Generated by AI, aimed at the present.
Pages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Officials say surviving an explosion in the concourse will now earn travelers status points redeemable toward future flights through the same airport.
The new agency's mission statement reportedly ends the moment any answer threatens to appear.
Citing a threat that could theoretically reach any runway on Earth, defense officials unveil a new strategy built entirely around staying up there.
A new form insists that the deceased appear with valid identification before their families can receive a single rupee.
After honoring neutrino research, the prize committee says the underground array is uniquely suited to tracking down spirits with unresolved citation disputes.
Officials say the B-1 fleet will now rotate continuously between bases whenever a threat cannot be described in more than one word.
Having honored three scientists for showing how nerve cells shape emotion, organizers say they might as well put the discovery to immediate use.
If neither candidate clears 50%, Lula and Flávio Bolsonaro will reportedly be asked to recount every ballot themselves, out loud, until one of them can no longer go on.
Protocol officers say a fireball timed to a chancellor's surprise arrival now counts as a formal greeting, provided it's logged on the correct itinerary form.
Officials say the officers' existing equipment will double as classroom supplies, from shields for group projects to batons for pointing at the whiteboard.
Authorities say counting cuts of beef is simply more honest than counting votes, since at least the meat doesn't lie about how things are going.
A new subscription box promises subscribers that every bottle is scarcer than the one before it, by design.