Tied Blocs Agree to Share Sweden's Deciding Seat Like a Time-Share Condo
With projections showing a one-seat margin, lawmakers reportedly settled the dispute by installing a rotation schedule for the chair itself.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Everything published so far
189 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Congress Launches Committee Dedicated Solely to Bills Designed Never to Pass
Lawmakers say the new panel's only metric of success is how well a bill photographs before it dies in committee.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Hyrox Makes It Official: No Bodily Mishap, No Finisher's Medal
The fitness race chain says true grit can no longer be left to chance, and neither can the cleanup.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Health Officials Unveil Rotating Committee to Pick Whichever Death-Count Method Looks Best That Quarter
The new panel will convene every few months solely to choose the tallying method that flatters the outbreak numbers most.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
ChatGPT's Crisis Feature Now Requires Completing a Short Orientation on How to Find the Crisis Feature
Users in distress must first clear a nested settings menu, file a support ticket, and await a confirmation email before reaching anyone who might help.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Culiacán Unveils New Permit System for Cartel Turf War
Officials say the feud can continue once the appropriate forms are stamped, filed, and approved in triplicate.
BBC News·Absurdity 5/10
Physics Committee Calls Emergency Session to Vote on Whether Reality Is Real
Following a new book questioning if the universe can be fully known, a hastily formed panel has moved to settle the matter by motion and second.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
US and China Agree to Let an AI Decide Who's Racing Too Fast on AI
The new arbitration model was praised by both sides for finally settling the argument, once the machine finishes settling it.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Washington and Beijing to Let Their AIs Hash Out the AI Dispute Themselves
Officials say the plan cuts out the middleman, provided the middleman was ever the humans in the room.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Zambia Unveils Star-Rating System For Anthrax Carcasses, Officials Urge Public To 'Check Reviews First'
A new national board will grade dead wildlife on freshness, aroma and overall risk before anyone considers a bite.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Overlooked Millionaires Form Shadow Senate, Convene Between Oil Changes
Car-dealership and dental-practice owners have reportedly begun settling national policy questions with the same tactics they use to move inventory.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Brussels Unveils Official Program Scheduling VIP Train Visits as Strike Decoys
A new task force says European officials will keep touring Ukrainian stations, timed precisely so the missiles only arrive once everyone has safely left.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10