Every story on this page is fabricated for comedic effect from a real headline. If it sounds real, that's the joke — not the news.
The news, exaggerated until it makes sense. Generated by AI, aimed at the present.
Pages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Officials say the panel's first initiative is an annual assessment of the assessment, with no further deliverables currently planned.
Officials say the new bronze-silver-gold tier system will streamline paperwork for travelers who are detained more than once on the same set of allegations.
Officials say the point system was the natural next step after leaders promised more support for every strike near alliance airspace.
A new certification office confirms infinite supply exists in spirit, even when the warehouse does not.
Tired of tariffs, growers say they've cut out Washington and are negotiating directly with Canada—one bushel at a time.
After Ed Sheeran said dropping Macklemore wasn't his call, organizers unveiled a standalone company whose only job is to be the one who decided.
Officials say the fastest way to bring pollution numbers down is to stop writing them down in the first place.
Officials say the policy technically complies with the Supreme Court's block while ensuring no ballot can ever be processed.
Officials say the on-orbit arsenal will now also serve as a rotating tourist attraction, pending clearance of the airlock queue.
Facing bankruptcy, the storied venue says its survival plan involves renting every stage, lobby, and green room to corporate offsites, with performances allowed only between catering breaks.
Amid a wave of mysterious objects halting trains, officials will now require debris to apply for suspicious status before it's allowed to disrupt service.
Producers say the ceremony's decades-old ambition to 'break records' finally has a category, a stopwatch, and a very large broom.