Grand Jury Subpoenas Holiday Card Lists in Widening Conspiracy Probe
Investigators say a signed "Warmly, John" may be the missing link in the alleged plot against the former president.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Politics archive — page 1
15 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
Postal Service Unveils New Plan: Ballots Now Require a Dramatic Reading
Having lost its bid to restrict mail voting outright, the agency says the least it can do is make sure every ballot gets a proper table read first.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
White House Launches Bureau to Pre-Certify Which AI Disasters Won't Happen
The new office says ruling out catastrophes ahead of time is the only way to keep pace with rivals abroad.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Congressman Delays Own Rescue Pending Quorum Call
Stranded atop a sinking plane, Tom Tiffany reportedly wanted the 911 line run through proper procedure before anyone got wet.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Tied Blocs Agree to Share Sweden's Deciding Seat Like a Time-Share Condo
With projections showing a one-seat margin, lawmakers reportedly settled the dispute by installing a rotation schedule for the chair itself.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Congress Launches Committee Dedicated Solely to Bills Designed Never to Pass
Lawmakers say the new panel's only metric of success is how well a bill photographs before it dies in committee.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Health Officials Unveil Rotating Committee to Pick Whichever Death-Count Method Looks Best That Quarter
The new panel will convene every few months solely to choose the tallying method that flatters the outbreak numbers most.
The Guardian·Absurdity 7/10
Justice Department Unveils National Bureau to Ensure No City Ever Accidentally Considers Reparations
The new Reparations Preemption Bureau will require every municipality in America to file paperwork proving it has not thought about compensating anyone for anything, ever.
NPR·Absurdity 7/10
Government Unveils Plan to House Political Donors in Lords Dormitory to Prove Residency
Under proposed amendments, anyone hoping their millions count as a legal donation will first need to spend several weeks sleeping in a bunk near the woolsack.
The Guardian·Absurdity 6/10
Kennedy Center Board Votes to Power Building Only While Trump Is Inside
New resolution reportedly links lights, climate control and ticket sales directly to the president's physical presence in the lobby.
NPR·Absurdity 8/10
White House Replaces All AI Guardrails With Single Dial Labeled 'Presidential IQ'
Officials say the device, mounted beside the Resolute Desk, will be checked before every major model release, eliminating the need for written rules entirely.
The Guardian·Absurdity 6/10
Alligator Alcatraz Enters Outdoor Cage Design in National Architecture Awards, Announces Licensing Program
Facility leadership says the same layout inspectors flagged for hygiene and safety violations could soon be coming to a detention center near you.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10