Cuba Unveils Ministry of Blackouts to Formally Schedule the Darkness
With fuel too scarce to keep the lights on, officials say they can at least keep the outages punctual.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
World archive — page 2
76 storiesPages are numbered from the oldest story, so a numbered page always holds the same stories it held the day you found it.
New US Office of Greenlandic Needs Opens, Immediately Requires Approval for Its Own Coffee Order
Officials say the agency created to handle "all other needs" in Greenland is still working out whether it counts as one of its own needs.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Government Debuts Reusable Statement For Next School Shooting, Just Needs A Name And A Number
After the third such attack since June, officials say a standardized form will save valuable time between incidents.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
Pentagon Creates Office Dedicated to Not Acknowledging Strikes in Advance
A new bureaucratic division reportedly drafts denial paperwork before any bombs are dropped, ensuring maximum efficiency in future non-acknowledgments.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
State Department Grants Iranian Delegation Diplomatic Status Valid Only Inside UN Building's Footprint
A newly formed federal office will spend the week gently steering visiting officials back across the threshold whenever their legal personhood lapses on the sidewalk.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
New Maritime Office Creates One Checkpoint to Certify Ships Avoided All Checkpoints
As Asian shippers race north to dodge congested global chokepoints, an international certification desk has quietly become the one line every vessel must wait in first.
NPR·Absurdity 9/10
EU Offers Canada a Seat at the Table, Then Takes the Table Back
Brussels unveils a new associate-membership tier that comes with all the paperwork and none of the furniture.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10
Singapore's Seized-Luxury Auction Discovers Its Best Customers Are the People It Seized From
Officials say the same Rolex has now been confiscated, sold, and re-confiscated fourteen times, and everyone involved insists this is fine.
BBC News·Absurdity 9/10
EU Offers Canada Associate Membership, Plus a Punch Card
Ottawa reportedly needs ten more stamps of regulatory compliance before it can redeem a free continent.
NPR·Absurdity 5/10
Canada Breaks Ground on Shadow EU Parliament, Just to Have Somewhere to Not Vote
Officials say the replica chamber will let the country practice sitting quietly through debates it has no say in.
BBC News·Absurdity 7/10
Lagos Airport Debuts Frequent Suspect Program for Repeat International Arrests
Officials say the new bronze-silver-gold tier system will streamline paperwork for travelers who are detained more than once on the same set of allegations.
BBC News·Absurdity 6/10
NATO Unveils Loyalty Program: Ten Downed Drones Earns Kyiv a Free Air Defense Battery
Officials say the point system was the natural next step after leaders promised more support for every strike near alliance airspace.
NPR·Absurdity 6/10